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Dear Papa,

It’s been 2 weeks since you are gone. According to Google that’s 336 hours but to me it feels like an eternity. I still wake up in the morning thinking this is a nightmare and you’re not really gone. At night I look at the sky and make a wish on the brightest star I see and I believe it is you.

My heart was so heavy and the pain was unbearable. You played a major role in my life and now you were gone. I’m sorry I never told you “I love you” enough. I wish I had appreciated moments like these more when you were here, but I know that’s not how life works. I’m sad that you’re not here; I miss you.

Don’t worry though Papa, I’m going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. You raised us like you needed to. You set the foundation for the people we are to become. Everything we do is going to be for you and we want to make you proud till our very last breath; just like you did. You taught me to be strong and to keep my head up, no matter what, because I may have it bad right now, but so does everyone else. Everyone is going through something, and it is no excuse to not keep living.

So I’m keeping my head up and my smile on, for you. You gave me so much Pa, and I wish I had been granted the opportunity to give it all back to you. I wish I could show you that you did the best job as a parent. You did everything. You worked hard for our family and always loved me.

I miss you. More than words can ever express, but somehow I think you know that. Even though I can no longer hear your voice, I still see your face and I can feel your love. You’re still with me, in my laughter, my smile, my tears and in my writing.

Papa, thank you for being my heart, my world and my precious guardian angel.

I love you.

Love always,

Julia

“Love never dies, it simply evolves. “

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Dear Pocs,

When we first met, I never would have thought that I would be able to call you my best friend.

I have had many people walk in and out of my life without making much of an impact on me, but with you, everything is different. I have never once questioned your friendship or honesty, mainly because I have never had a reason to.

I know it probably isn’t easy for you to be my best friend. You have to deal with all my complaining, my ups and downs, and most often, my bossiness. I don’t know how you do it, but I am forever grateful that you do. I am sure that you never expected that you’d be the person that I would turn to when I needed someone to talk to.

To be honest, I never would have thought you would be the person to cheer me up or help me through a bad time either. However, you are that person to me. You always know how to put me in a better mood. You make fun of me and I get pissed at you for doing it, and somehow, everything is better.

I have found that a lot of people do not understand our relationship. They are confused as to how I can be so close with a guy. The truth is, I don’t know how it happened, but you have become one of the most important people in my life.

I really could not imagine a better guy best friend than you. I have enjoyed every second of our friendship. Thank you for always being honest with me. Thank you for teaching me to tough it out and appreciate every part of life. You drive me crazy but I’ll always love you.

Love,

Your Best Friend Julia/Pocs

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To my future self,

Life hasn’t been too easy on you lately, and I am sorry about that. But I am so proud of you. Despite it all, you have managed to keep your head up and continue fighting throughout. Be proud of everything you have gone through, and mostly, what you’ve become.

The challenges you have gone through, and those you will face in the future, may break you down. It makes you think about your self-worth, your weakness, and your failure. Even though you think you are broken, there is so much beauty in your pain.

Stop being so hard on yourself. Everything will make sense to you one day. All the pain, hurt, and frustration will become worth it. Always remember, everything happens for a particular reason. Breathe, be patient and trust the course of your life. Accept reality as it comes. Accept life for what it is.

I hope you are more confident to stand up and rise up to challenges. I hope you stop comparing your life to others. Tell yourself that your life is perfectly imperfect. Always learn to love and appreciate yourself, because at the end of the day, it is all about yourself.

As I am writing this letter, your life isn’t fully figured out yet. You are not 100% sure of your direction, or what you are going to do long-term in life. So someday in the future, let’s say in 4 or 5 years, once you comeback to read this letter, I hope you will feel happy that you have followed a path you are proud of. Surprise me with what you have in the future.

Your younger self,

Julia Margaret